Love is life’s golden ticket. It brings in the brightest of colors and the rich high and low notes. There is no mistaking it; you know when you have love. And you definitely know when you don’t. The big question is, What are you doing about not having love in your life? Are you going to risk being alone and lonely, missing out on all that love can give?
Imagine if you were losing your job and needed money; looking for one would be your absolute top priority. You would spend hours searching linkedin.com and posting on job sites like monster.com and careerbuilder.com, scanning the want ads and trade journals, calling recruiters, networking through your friends, and jumping on any leads. In contrast, despite being alone, finding love ranks pretty low on your to-do list. You come home from work, run errands, answer some e-mails, text your friends, play with the dog, and watch your favorite show. Maybe you’re the type who puts in extra hours at the office, meets the girls out for a drink, notices a couple of interesting guys but figures it’s too hard to get their attention, then heads home without giving them another thought. You may be a working single mom who’d like to find a caring, loving partner, but you think, Who has the time? At best you spend maybe ten minutes flicking through profiles on Tinder. Sound familiar?
Let’s be honest. If you are truthful with yourself, is finding love anywhere near the top of your priority list? You’re probably better at planning your weekend or a vacation than planning your dating life. I’ve helped thousands of women find wonderful relationships, and it all started with one simple shift. Each student made just one decision that changed her priorities and changed her life: the decision to roll out the red carpet for love.
Now, I know what you’re thinking: If it is meant to be, it will just happen. I don’t want to be (seem) desperate. Love comes when you let go, when you are not looking.
But I have critical news for you: Study after study has shown that love relationships have a huge impact on our psychological, economic, and physical well-being. Having a life partner can create a higher sense of self-worth, provide intimacy and emotional support, which fulfills the deepest human need for connection, and lead to greater wealth and economic stability. As a result, married people may be happier, live more satisfying lives, and have fewer psychological problems, including depression. Many researchers say that these factors lead to better physical health, greater health-seeking behavior, and lower rates of alcoholism. Here’s the big take-away: For over 100 years studies around the world have shown that married people live longer and enjoy a higher quality of life than those who aren’t partnered! With everything a healthy love relationship has going for it, why let anything hold you back from choosing love as a top priority in your life?
Of course, the pro-marriage findings do not necessarily mean that people can’t be happy as singles. They can. And they certainly don’t mean that women should stay in loveless or abusive relationships. In fact, these days a woman does not even need a man to have a child or build a fulfilling life. But an overwhelming mountain of evidence points to the centrality of a love relationship in creating health and happiness for most people.
Ask yourself: How do I prioritize love? Or, more honestly, Why is it that finding lasting love or working on a love relationship is not my highest priority? Shouldn’t it be, since your long-term quality of life may depend on it?
Okay, I know. You’ve been on interminable dates where you were bored, annoyed, and couldn’t wait to get away. You’re sure there are no good men left, and, if by some chance there are, they’re certainly not in your town. Sometimes you tell yourself that you really just don’t care anymore, especially after your last less-than-satisfactory experience. You may be sick and tired of the whole dating and love merry-go-round. After all, you have been hurt, rejected, and disappointed, big time. I get it.
But those days can all be over. Starting today. Right now, this very minute, you can start your own Love in 90 Days Program and change your life forever. As a wise woman once said, “Love is a fruit in season at all times, and within reach of every hand.”
I’ve helped women who were overweight, shy, older, buried in debt, mega-successful, saddled with problem kids—you name it. Some faced a combo-plate of challenges. Yet these women were able to create real love in their lives.