When it comes to dating, the Bard got it right. Moderation is key. It keeps you from moving too fast or too slow when you’re getting to know new men and what they bring to your table. And the most powerful way to achieve moderation is by using the Dating Program of Three.
The Program of Three is exactly the opposite of the urban legend “three-date rule,” which dictates that you must decide by the third date if a guy is potentially the One and have sex or lose him forever. On this dating program, you avoid that pressured decision and its aftermath: a Flame-Out that usually kills the relationship. Instead you date three men at the same time without having sex with any of them. By not seeing any one man too often, you find the men who are really into you and who will stay the course. Plus, you break out of your prison of Deadly Dating Patterns and maneuver more skillfully in the dating world. By following this program, you build your self-esteem and find men who are much more fulfilling.
Although the idea of finding, much less juggling, three guys may sound challenging if not downright impossible at this point let me reassure you: It won’t be once you begin using all the tools you’ll learn in this Program.
How to Work the Program of Three
I can hear you already. Dr. Diana, you might be thinking, I’m still trying to find one man to date. How can I find three? First of all, listen up, ladies: There are more than 51 million single men just in the U.S. right now, and different ones are coming on the market all the time! And every year there are new online dating sites that bring in whole new crops to choose from. There are men out there no matter what your age, weight, or “problem” is.
What if you have special challenges because you are African-American, over forty-five, a single mom, or so highly successful that you scare men away? Skip over to get the latest research on the real truths about these issues that will show you just how great the possibility of finding love is for you. It is here. Right now.
In fact, every student we have ever had who was willing to work the principles consistently, no matter what her challenges or Deadly Dating Patterns were, has been able to create a successful Dating Program of Three. “Where do I meet the men?” you ask.
Good news: you’re already meeting them if you’ve been doing your homework, going to places where there are lots of men and saying hello. Oh, you say you’re really shy and haven’t done any of those activities so far? Well, there’s a special surprise in this TOPIC homework that is going to get you talking to men in the next few days!
You will also be putting out the word to your family, friends, and co-workers that you are looking, starting this week. And you will work two digital dating sites. In the next you will learn powerful online secrets that bring the better guys to you. One coaching client had 200 responses on one online site alone! And you will learn to discover and connect to people with what I call your Diamond Self. This is the authentic, not-shy, real you who is loving and lovable. You will learn how to be at your best, which means you will be attracting even more men!
GET RID OF STINKING THINKING
In order to work the program, you must cut back on the negative self-talk. I’m too fat, too old, too shy, I have too much cellulite—blah blah blah. Most women also carry around negative self-talk based on scarcity. This kind of stinking thinking compels them to grab the one they’re with. They think, I might as well jump in because there are no good men out there. There are too many women and too few men! or I have to hang on to him because I have to take whatever I can get! and other depressing, self-defeating thoughts. Committing to the Dating Program of Three banishes this stinking thinking.
There is nothing like having three men interested in you to boost your self-esteem. Being on the Program helps you practice the kind of self-loving inner dialogue that is an important key to creating a love relationship that lasts.
Here’s how Joan, a thirty-two-year-old Realtor who had emerged from an empty marriage a year before she started the course, describes working the Program:
It has been daunting to date three men as I never had dated that many at a time. But it is helping me to stay less attached to who I think is “the one.” And with so much attention, it’s strange, but I’m just beginning to feel, “I deserve to be courted. I’m worth it for guys to hang in there and work for me.”